This week...

I often forget how difficult this week before a break can be... And if it is difficult for me, that means my students are struggling much worse. Though it makes me nervous and fully of worry, I must remember to step away from it all for a while.

This is my personal reminder to take this upcoming break and really "break"... in other words, remember to rest and relax and put some of the work things out of mind. This holiday season I fully intend to reflect and be present with my family and friends. They deserve my full attention, which is not what they always get during the school year.

Here's to breaking. But not just taking a little break, rather, really resting and rejuvenating!

We are what we say we are...

Well, as it always goes, I was given a harsh (but important) little reminder today. My students teach me so much. After a guidance lesson on the positivity and mindsets, my students so honestly explained that we are what we think we are. "If we just think that something good will happen, then it will." .... I just wanted to say, "DUH" to myself! :) I went through the morning very sleepy and un-motivated. I can honestly remember saying to a colleague this morning, "I'm just so tired today." Well, well... sounds like I was talking myself right into the kind of day I was going to have!

We left our fun little lesson realizing, as they pointed out so well, that we are what we say we are! So instead of sleepy, today I am a learner. I am alive. I am excited about the snowfall! As we move into this holiday season, we can choose to have the kind of day that we end up having. Unlike Alexander in the terrible, horrible, no good day book, we can shift our mindsets right away in the morning!

And why do I always need these reminders for such simple little things? :)

Happy Friday!

They are watching... no matter what.

As I trotted down the hall today after picking up the 4th graders for a guidance lesson, I could not help but notice some of the girls staring at me as we walked. Not even just a little look here and there, but all-out staring at me. They were watching how I walked, my facial expressions and my body language. Now, it is very possible I had something in my teeth and had hair sticking up on end, but either way this was a great reminder! Of what, you ask? Well...

I had to step back and reflect on how much we, as educators, lead by example. This does not just come with our words, what we teach and how we interact with our students... this comes every minute of every day around our students. They are watching and re-creating all of the time. If I would have folded my arms, the girls would have done the same. If I would have skipped, you better believe they would have been skipping too. What a way to be reminded that my body language is giving them a message each moment of each day.

As we went through our guidance lesson, we talked about  how our words are powerful, our actions are powerful and today we even discussed how our body language is powerful. Whether I am standing with my arms crossed, arms on my hips or arms at my side, I am sending a message.

What does your body language say about your demeanor today? I know I've got a lot to work on!

Happy Friday!

Love.

This week was certainly an interesting one throughout schools across our country. I cannot help but write about the wide range of emotion shared among students off all ages. Depending on location and situation, there were feelings of elation, happiness, relief, sadness, fear and anger flowing through the veins of schools due to the election of our new president. Some school counselors saw the jubilation while others worked with tearful, scared students. The range of emotion can be mind-boggling, yet we always have the option to choose to love and care for all of our students, no matter what. We can continue to stand up for what is right and what is just. We can continue to protect all of our students, no matter what. We can continue to fight the good fight against bullying and we can also continue to choose love. Our students are our tribe.

It hurts my heart to hear about the pain that many counselors had to help deal with. Pain and fear in the eyes of our students is valid; their feelings are their reality and we honor that, always. What a time this is to be able to help and impact our schools in a positive way. We have the ability to teach students how to disagree respectfully, how to lose gracefully and, especially, how to love. We are all in this together; we are grooming the next generation of trend-setters, fighters, lovers and policy makers just the same.

Let's do this. <3

It's what's on the inside...

This year has been an interesting one in terms of making a lot of fun changes. With one quarter (YES, I said ONE QUARTER) of the year done already, we are getting into the full swing of the changes. One neat lesson I learned this week from my therapy dog, Winnie, who is new to our school this year was in regards to the message at the top of today's blog post. It truly is not what's on the outside, but what's on the inside that matters most. Why do I need such reminders like this? It almost makes me feel stupid to write about because it seems like it is common sense. It is something I teach regularly, and preach often in my personal and professional lives. Why then, is it so difficult to remember sometimes?

This week I had to take Winnie to the groomer. In the past, she had a poor experience with a groomer, so I was a bit skeptical, but had good recommendations for this new one. I spoke with the groomer about keeping her hair long, especially because the kids love her fluff! Well, when I went to pick her up, she was hardly recognizable! I could not stop laughing... she looked so awful, in my opinion. I was fretting over it until I got to my next guidance lesson where my third graders reminded me of this important lesson. Their loud, excited responses went something like this, "WINNIE GOT A HAIR CUT! YAY!" and "WINNIE LOOKS SO CUTE WITH HER HAIRCUT!!"

Wow, was I surprised! Here I was worrying all about her darn hair, when it really does not matter! It's just hair. It grows back. What matters is that she was happy with the groomer, she was clean, she was expertly cut and groomed. The students looked past the hair thing far easier than I did. Such a good reminder that the things in life that truly matter are not things like this. Not at all.

Step back. Breathe. Reflect.

Happy Friday!

Inspiring?

This week, more than ever, I am hoping this little message is true. Sometimes our students hit roadblocks of which we have no control. It is frustrating to watch them tread through the murky waters of their lives when we can only continue to do what we do - offer support, let them cry, let them vent, show our concern and be a sounding board. Hopefully, that much is enough; Though it does not always feel that way. 

Maybe I am just more emotional than normal right now, but the stories from the kids this week broke my heart. I nearly cried listening to them. The tough exterior that these kids put on every day, just to survive, amazes me. Although it is an "effective" coping skill, it often hardens them and trains them to cover up any and all emotion. 

Here's to hoping that by doing what we love day in and day out, we are also inspiring and awakening the hearts of those students - the ones who need it most. 

And the heartbreak continues...

It seems that over the summer I forgot what it feels like to be a school counselor. Either that, or I am feeling things a bit deeper this year. The heartbreak of this profession is something that goes hand in hand with the fulfillment, I suppose. Stories continue to flow in from the long, awful summer break. Tears are flowing and students are re-adjusting to a more consistent life. Within all of that, I am constantly amazed by those who have grown and matured over the summer, those who have turned a new page, and those who continue to be strong despite their horrible circumstances.

This world is truly amazing. We have some truly amazing and resilient students that we come across every day. Here's to those kids. The ones who fight through it all and the ones who often float to the back of the room to be invisible. What an honor it is to serve them.

New year, new heartbreaks...

At the beginning of a new year, I find my heart breaking many times a day. The young girl, who I know well from past concerns, coming up to me and hanging on tight - so tight - telling me over and over that she missed me. The others with dark circles under their eyes due to the lack of consistent sleep, or even a place to sleep, over the summer. And then there are the parents, or adults who step in as parents who come to relay all of the horrible events of the summer so we can help clean up the mess. The tearful parents who just want someone, anyone, to provide the hope. This hope is directly connected to the public school system, a system where I LOVE to work.

The beginning of the year is also a time that reminds me how much I love what I do. I have said it many times, but it is so good to be back with these kids. They are my "why"... why I do what I do. 

Cheers to the new year! Cheers to giving these kids, and the adults in their world, exactly what they need!

Here's to summer!

How about we just give a shout out to summer!? What a way to live, learn and reflect. Summer. <3

With that said, it is time for me to get my head in the game! Isn't it funny how it takes a full few days to actually get your brain to think straight again? What'll happen when I retire?! Oh boy. :)

This year, I would love to "ease into" the school year. Is that even possible? How about I give it a try. Several new programs will be implemented and I need to be sure not to get too bogged down by the craziness. Little bits at a time will make the world go 'round.

Cheers to rolling into this school year with style, ease and a steady base.

Well! That's a wrap! This is why we do what we do, folks. 

Accept the moment...

This little note spoke to me this week. No matter how hard we plan for the big events, make follow-up phone calls or schedule things down to the minute, we cannot account for everything. That is life, that is not an issue or a problem. Some days, this is easier to accept than others. Some days, things roll right into place no matter how many hiccups occur. Other days, well... other days don't work out so well.

Self care plays a huge part in whether or not we are able to accept the moment for what it's worth and move forward in a positive way. Yesterday, I started the day off with a hilarious video and I laughed so hard I cried! Today, the sunrise was so absolutely stunning on my run that I had to stop and just gaze for a while. (*If you've never been shocked, awed, and utterly amazed by all of the colors of a morning sunrise, I highly suggest you take advantage. It's like nothing else in this world and so worth waking up early.*) What a way to ensure that I am able to move through my day with ease, accepting the little "moments" as they come, rather than stressing or fretting over them.

Time to rock this day. My grandmother has always said that, "if you cannot dazzle them with your brilliance, then you might as well baffle them with your *b.s." :) So, regardless of the situation, I have a tool in my toolbox to make it through!

Oh yeah, and it's graduation tonight! Congratulations to the seniors out there!

*Can you tell I'm scattered!?

Here's to the kids who are not excited this time of year...

I must say that my language with students surrounding the topic of summer break has changed since I first started this career, and continues to change. A discussion with a colleague this morning made me reflect on a few of the talks I have had lately with my students. Not every student wants to have summer break. In fact, many are not looking forward to this time of year. 

As teachers and staff, we so often talk excitedly about the approaching summer, we have "count-downs" on the board, we assume that everyone is looking forward to THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. The excitement is built into the culture of the school, the way we speak about things and also to the way we talk directly to students. I notice myself doing several "end of the year" check-ins with kids and asking them, with enthusiasm, how excited they are for summer to come, etc. This year, I have had many students say something like, "well... actually.... I kinda don't want it to come." I have no idea why this came as a surprise to me, because I am well aware of their home environments. 

Deep breath. They have some heavy things going on. 

Do I need to be more sensitive to their feelings about all of this? How do they feel when everyone is going crazy with excitement for the summer to be here? Do they feel isolated? Do they just "play along?" I have several students who I will be thinking about all summer, worrying, wondering if they are okay. Some that do not have a place to go, others that do not have food on the table each day, and then others who will face even more violence and drug-use without the structure of the school day to protect them. These are the students who will be excitedly wishing for school to start again. Time for me to start being more cognizant of this. 

Yes, despite this, I am excited for all of my summer travels, but I promise to remember that not everyone gets that sort of excitement. Maybe a simple summer "to-do" list will be a way they can keep their minds busy? Oh, if only it was as simple as that. Here's to the kids who want us there all year round. Here's to the kids who need the support of the school day. 

Praise versus Critique

It's that time of year again when it is important to gauge the effectiveness and impact of a school counseling program. Ignorantly, I did not even realize that the state school counseling model recommends that we  survey our "clients" in order to get an idea of what they think of our program. I simply created a survey because I truly wanted to know from them what they thought. One survey for staff, and one for students addressed strengths and weaknesses according to them. 

After reviewing the results and creating goals for moving forward, I quickly realized that it is one thing to ask for constructive feedback and another thing to actually take it to heart and learn. Although sometimes the comments, from students especially, may sting a bit, it is so important to break it down and really listen. Behind the high-school, drama-filled language, what is that student truly saying? How can I address it? I'm getting there. :) 

Oh, and also important to remember to actually read and take to heart the positive things that they say about you as well. As I was frantically looking at the data results (because who has time for anything right now?!), I realized that I was only skimming and not even reading all of the nice things that the surveys had to say. That information is just as important! Take in the positive, but get better from the critique! It's all about balance. 

Okay. Deep breath. It's that time of year. Craziness is upon us. AND it's Friday the 13th. Good luck all!

Don't be hard on yourself...

This is a very great reminder for me as I look through the data from the surveys I give to students and staff members about my counseling program. Although it tends to be positive, why is it that I ruminate on the negatives? I know that I purposely ask for feedback because I want to improve... but sometimes it still stings a bit to get that information. Today is all about turning a negative into a positive, finding a strength in a weakness, becoming better and thriving as a school counselor. We can all, always, do better. So that's just what I'm setting out to do. 

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! 

A special shout-out goes to Mrs. Pickerign, my 6th grade teacher, who taught me compassion, composure and leadership. I'm sure I learned reading, writing and arithmetic from her too, haha. But, sometimes we forget that the most important things we learn from our teachers doesn't come from a test, a canned curriculum or a state standard. Thank you to Mrs. Pickerign, and all of the wonderful teachers who are forging forward in this profession, despite the sometimes daunting nature of it all. 

Life is responding to you.

I love this little thought about life. Isn't it the truth? Our thoughts and actions so entirely shape our world; And we so often think about it the other way around. 

Now, I have to put this into the "soulful school counselor" perspective of life within the walls of a school. Just this week, on two very jarring occasions, I was reminded of how important my reactions to my students are. The way that I respond when I see my students, something as simple as a look, a smile, a fist pump, or even a lengthy exchange means SO much (or SO little) to the student. 

Two examples that made me re-think the way that I respond to my students: 

1. A little boy who I'll call Sam is in Kindergarten and has a lot of behavioral issues. He's always being defiant and not listening to any adult. Interactions with him are sometimes painful and often not what the adult wants it to be, myself included. One morning this week, I ran into Sam in the hall. Literally, I did not see him until I was right in front of him; I did not register who the student even was until I gave him a big, bright smile, pat on the back and "hello!" He smiled, and I asked how he was doing, etc. A happy exchange! The strange thing was that after this interaction, I had to step back and reprimand myself. I cannot remember having such a positive exchange with Sam in so long. Way too long, for that matter. Why, when I approach him, do I have to go into an automatic "combat mode," expecting the worst? If only I could recognize this before said interaction occurs! I can. I have the power to change my overall demeanor and thus the way that children.... life... responds to me. Yes. I certainly can. 

2. One of my second grade girls who comes from a very fragmented and broken home has had numerous issues with lice this school year. She has missed way too much school, all because the lice problem cannot get under control at her house. This week, in guidance class, I was preparing a quick clip and the girl was glued to my side. As I sat in my chair, she shimmied up close to me and laid her head on my shoulder. She must have really needed a connection that day. This was another moment where I had to reprimand myself because (despite having not heard of any lice issues in at least a month) my knee-jerk reaction was to take a step back "just in case." Agh! The girl just wanted a little love, something that comes few and far between for her. Just another reminder for me that the way I respond to my students matters. It matters more than I can probably comprehend. 

Well, I suppose this life needs to have these little (though heart-breaking) lessons to keep us all humble. What a blessing the ability to reflect is... 

Your spirit shows...

I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my school counseling program as a whole. As a 4K - 12 school counselor, I have some amazing opportunities to connect and meld my program into one, larger entity that flows together. Because I am always wanting to do more and more, I struggle with all of the ideas that come my way - I want to do everything!

How does one pick and choose which great ideas to carry out?

After thinking about that question, I came upon this great little photo and quote. So true. At first, I could only see how this pertained to my personal life... but after considering it some more, it truly is an answer to that question: (How does one pick and choose which great ideas to carry out in a school counseling program?).

A school counseling program could be good if all of the wonderful ideas of the world were included, but those ideas are best carried out if they also blend with who we are as a school counselor, as a person. Ultimately, those things that I carry out with passion, with spirit, are the things that will be most successful. Rather than asking what more I can do, I should ask what more I can do with spirit! More is not always better. Less can be more, too.

Deep breath now. Don't be afraid to let go of some of the cool things that you think you want to do, especially if it doesn't mesh with who you are and the greater goals of your program. Build a program with spirit, not a program that is overflowing with things and ideas. :) All good reminders for me!

Simplicity in a chaotic world...

Some days, things can be overwhelming. Some days, things can be chaotic and difficult. But some days we must remember: it's simple. It can be simple, too. 

We are all difference-makers...

Sometimes I think back to my interactions throughout the day and wonder... did I say or do anything that will leave an impact? Good or bad, I suppose. Will a word or conversation strike someone the right way... or the wrong way? How can I be more mindful of every moment in order to remind myself that my students and fellow staff members are constantly impacted by what I say and do, even when I don't realize it? I know, I know... it's not all about ME. It's really not. But, the quote above truly resonates. I know for sure that I want to make a positive difference in the lives of my students and my colleagues. Am I? I guess they are the judge, and all I can do is to make sure I am at my best each day I come to work. Reflecting each day and asking the questions, "What touched me today? How did I impact others today?" is so important.

Off to set the reminder to remember to do this! I once heard a song that said something like, "I forgot to remember to forget..." Haha. Oh wow... happy Friday!

The truth behind that behavior...

And then there are those days when your heart is heavy for your students. The days you want to take them all home and keep them safe. Those days that turn into nights worrying about them, wondering what more you can do and hoping that their weekend is a smooth one. Those are the days that, despite the heaviness, I am reminded why I do what I do. It is important to take a step back and remember why. Really.

I do this job, not as just a job, but as a passion.

A few reasons why I love it:

1. My students keep me on my toes.
2. I truly believe in public education and the benefits for ALL.
3. To help figure out that story behind the misbehavior.
4. The diversity of issues and roles; although difficult, it provides an eclectic day!
5. What other job gives the opportunity to teach, advise, wipe away tears, run around like a fool during lunch duty, find clothes for those in need, stop at homes of kids you worry about, laugh with fellow colleagues and listen intently to a kindergartner's crazy story about a scratch on their finger all in the same day!?

How do you handle a rainy day?

I'd like to add a "#4" to the list! Today there was a MAJOR BLOWUP of smoothie that ended up ALL OVER my shirt, pants, shoes, computer, desk, chair, floor, garbage can, wall, etc. To put it short, I shook a full, open bottle of my breakfast smoothie. It ended up on everything, even in my eye and up my nose. As I sit here and pick flax seeds out of my hair, I can't help but laugh. It was a great day. And I'm not even headed home after work... which means I get to wear my smoothie filled clothing all night. Happy weekend, everyone!

How would you handle it?