Here's to the kids who are not excited this time of year...

I must say that my language with students surrounding the topic of summer break has changed since I first started this career, and continues to change. A discussion with a colleague this morning made me reflect on a few of the talks I have had lately with my students. Not every student wants to have summer break. In fact, many are not looking forward to this time of year. 

As teachers and staff, we so often talk excitedly about the approaching summer, we have "count-downs" on the board, we assume that everyone is looking forward to THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. The excitement is built into the culture of the school, the way we speak about things and also to the way we talk directly to students. I notice myself doing several "end of the year" check-ins with kids and asking them, with enthusiasm, how excited they are for summer to come, etc. This year, I have had many students say something like, "well... actually.... I kinda don't want it to come." I have no idea why this came as a surprise to me, because I am well aware of their home environments. 

Deep breath. They have some heavy things going on. 

Do I need to be more sensitive to their feelings about all of this? How do they feel when everyone is going crazy with excitement for the summer to be here? Do they feel isolated? Do they just "play along?" I have several students who I will be thinking about all summer, worrying, wondering if they are okay. Some that do not have a place to go, others that do not have food on the table each day, and then others who will face even more violence and drug-use without the structure of the school day to protect them. These are the students who will be excitedly wishing for school to start again. Time for me to start being more cognizant of this. 

Yes, despite this, I am excited for all of my summer travels, but I promise to remember that not everyone gets that sort of excitement. Maybe a simple summer "to-do" list will be a way they can keep their minds busy? Oh, if only it was as simple as that. Here's to the kids who want us there all year round. Here's to the kids who need the support of the school day. 

Praise versus Critique

It's that time of year again when it is important to gauge the effectiveness and impact of a school counseling program. Ignorantly, I did not even realize that the state school counseling model recommends that we  survey our "clients" in order to get an idea of what they think of our program. I simply created a survey because I truly wanted to know from them what they thought. One survey for staff, and one for students addressed strengths and weaknesses according to them. 

After reviewing the results and creating goals for moving forward, I quickly realized that it is one thing to ask for constructive feedback and another thing to actually take it to heart and learn. Although sometimes the comments, from students especially, may sting a bit, it is so important to break it down and really listen. Behind the high-school, drama-filled language, what is that student truly saying? How can I address it? I'm getting there. :) 

Oh, and also important to remember to actually read and take to heart the positive things that they say about you as well. As I was frantically looking at the data results (because who has time for anything right now?!), I realized that I was only skimming and not even reading all of the nice things that the surveys had to say. That information is just as important! Take in the positive, but get better from the critique! It's all about balance. 

Okay. Deep breath. It's that time of year. Craziness is upon us. AND it's Friday the 13th. Good luck all!

Don't be hard on yourself...

This is a very great reminder for me as I look through the data from the surveys I give to students and staff members about my counseling program. Although it tends to be positive, why is it that I ruminate on the negatives? I know that I purposely ask for feedback because I want to improve... but sometimes it still stings a bit to get that information. Today is all about turning a negative into a positive, finding a strength in a weakness, becoming better and thriving as a school counselor. We can all, always, do better. So that's just what I'm setting out to do. 

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! 

A special shout-out goes to Mrs. Pickerign, my 6th grade teacher, who taught me compassion, composure and leadership. I'm sure I learned reading, writing and arithmetic from her too, haha. But, sometimes we forget that the most important things we learn from our teachers doesn't come from a test, a canned curriculum or a state standard. Thank you to Mrs. Pickerign, and all of the wonderful teachers who are forging forward in this profession, despite the sometimes daunting nature of it all. 

Life is responding to you.

I love this little thought about life. Isn't it the truth? Our thoughts and actions so entirely shape our world; And we so often think about it the other way around. 

Now, I have to put this into the "soulful school counselor" perspective of life within the walls of a school. Just this week, on two very jarring occasions, I was reminded of how important my reactions to my students are. The way that I respond when I see my students, something as simple as a look, a smile, a fist pump, or even a lengthy exchange means SO much (or SO little) to the student. 

Two examples that made me re-think the way that I respond to my students: 

1. A little boy who I'll call Sam is in Kindergarten and has a lot of behavioral issues. He's always being defiant and not listening to any adult. Interactions with him are sometimes painful and often not what the adult wants it to be, myself included. One morning this week, I ran into Sam in the hall. Literally, I did not see him until I was right in front of him; I did not register who the student even was until I gave him a big, bright smile, pat on the back and "hello!" He smiled, and I asked how he was doing, etc. A happy exchange! The strange thing was that after this interaction, I had to step back and reprimand myself. I cannot remember having such a positive exchange with Sam in so long. Way too long, for that matter. Why, when I approach him, do I have to go into an automatic "combat mode," expecting the worst? If only I could recognize this before said interaction occurs! I can. I have the power to change my overall demeanor and thus the way that children.... life... responds to me. Yes. I certainly can. 

2. One of my second grade girls who comes from a very fragmented and broken home has had numerous issues with lice this school year. She has missed way too much school, all because the lice problem cannot get under control at her house. This week, in guidance class, I was preparing a quick clip and the girl was glued to my side. As I sat in my chair, she shimmied up close to me and laid her head on my shoulder. She must have really needed a connection that day. This was another moment where I had to reprimand myself because (despite having not heard of any lice issues in at least a month) my knee-jerk reaction was to take a step back "just in case." Agh! The girl just wanted a little love, something that comes few and far between for her. Just another reminder for me that the way I respond to my students matters. It matters more than I can probably comprehend. 

Well, I suppose this life needs to have these little (though heart-breaking) lessons to keep us all humble. What a blessing the ability to reflect is... 

Your spirit shows...

I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my school counseling program as a whole. As a 4K - 12 school counselor, I have some amazing opportunities to connect and meld my program into one, larger entity that flows together. Because I am always wanting to do more and more, I struggle with all of the ideas that come my way - I want to do everything!

How does one pick and choose which great ideas to carry out?

After thinking about that question, I came upon this great little photo and quote. So true. At first, I could only see how this pertained to my personal life... but after considering it some more, it truly is an answer to that question: (How does one pick and choose which great ideas to carry out in a school counseling program?).

A school counseling program could be good if all of the wonderful ideas of the world were included, but those ideas are best carried out if they also blend with who we are as a school counselor, as a person. Ultimately, those things that I carry out with passion, with spirit, are the things that will be most successful. Rather than asking what more I can do, I should ask what more I can do with spirit! More is not always better. Less can be more, too.

Deep breath now. Don't be afraid to let go of some of the cool things that you think you want to do, especially if it doesn't mesh with who you are and the greater goals of your program. Build a program with spirit, not a program that is overflowing with things and ideas. :) All good reminders for me!

Simplicity in a chaotic world...

Some days, things can be overwhelming. Some days, things can be chaotic and difficult. But some days we must remember: it's simple. It can be simple, too. 

We are all difference-makers...

Sometimes I think back to my interactions throughout the day and wonder... did I say or do anything that will leave an impact? Good or bad, I suppose. Will a word or conversation strike someone the right way... or the wrong way? How can I be more mindful of every moment in order to remind myself that my students and fellow staff members are constantly impacted by what I say and do, even when I don't realize it? I know, I know... it's not all about ME. It's really not. But, the quote above truly resonates. I know for sure that I want to make a positive difference in the lives of my students and my colleagues. Am I? I guess they are the judge, and all I can do is to make sure I am at my best each day I come to work. Reflecting each day and asking the questions, "What touched me today? How did I impact others today?" is so important.

Off to set the reminder to remember to do this! I once heard a song that said something like, "I forgot to remember to forget..." Haha. Oh wow... happy Friday!