Just this morning I had two students having meltdowns at the same time. One of them scowled, and even growled at me in the hallway, and then he said, "I'm just SO MAD." Without even thinking, I said, "that's okay, but do you want to take a walk with us?" He replied, "but I'm so mad!" I just said again, "that's okay, but do you want to take a walk with us?" The student was caught off guard and stood up to start walking. He stayed back a bit for a while, and then came closer because he wanted to tell me, "after we walk for a while can I tell you why I am mad?" :) I like moments like these - and especially like reflecting on them. In hindsight, I would have done things a bit differently, but this part worked. We did process why he was mad and also role played how he could ask for what he wants instead of getting mad. I think it would have been even more powerful to talk about why being mad is an okay thing, and that sometimes we need to get mad... when appropriate.
On another, similar note, it is important to remember that the actions of our students are almost always because of an antecedent. Negative emotions can, and do tell us something about our students if we listen close enough! The other student that happened to be walking with us was upset because his "neck hurt." Upon review from the nurse, we knew that it wasn't actually a neck problem. The boy was creating an issue in the hopes that he'd be sent home. After talking with him for quite some time, we found out that yes, he does want to be out of school because if he is out of school, then "the people will come take him away from home." Sadly, this is something he wants to have happen. Of course there is more to it, but it breaks my heart. It was so important to investigate this "hurting neck" more in order to get the root of the negative emotion.
"Don't ignore or cover up negative emotions. Even the negative emotions are there to tell you something."
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