I love this little thought about life. Isn't it the truth? Our thoughts and actions so entirely shape our world; And we so often think about it the other way around.
Now, I have to put this into the "soulful school counselor" perspective of life within the walls of a school. Just this week, on two very jarring occasions, I was reminded of how important my reactions to my students are. The way that I respond when I see my students, something as simple as a look, a smile, a fist pump, or even a lengthy exchange means SO much (or SO little) to the student.
Two examples that made me re-think the way that I respond to my students:
1. A little boy who I'll call Sam is in Kindergarten and has a lot of behavioral issues. He's always being defiant and not listening to any adult. Interactions with him are sometimes painful and often not what the adult wants it to be, myself included. One morning this week, I ran into Sam in the hall. Literally, I did not see him until I was right in front of him; I did not register who the student even was until I gave him a big, bright smile, pat on the back and "hello!" He smiled, and I asked how he was doing, etc. A happy exchange! The strange thing was that after this interaction, I had to step back and reprimand myself. I cannot remember having such a positive exchange with Sam in so long. Way too long, for that matter. Why, when I approach him, do I have to go into an automatic "combat mode," expecting the worst? If only I could recognize this before said interaction occurs! I can. I have the power to change my overall demeanor and thus the way that children.... life... responds to me. Yes. I certainly can.
2. One of my second grade girls who comes from a very fragmented and broken home has had numerous issues with lice this school year. She has missed way too much school, all because the lice problem cannot get under control at her house. This week, in guidance class, I was preparing a quick clip and the girl was glued to my side. As I sat in my chair, she shimmied up close to me and laid her head on my shoulder. She must have really needed a connection that day. This was another moment where I had to reprimand myself because (despite having not heard of any lice issues in at least a month) my knee-jerk reaction was to take a step back "just in case." Agh! The girl just wanted a little love, something that comes few and far between for her. Just another reminder for me that the way I respond to my students matters. It matters more than I can probably comprehend.
Well, I suppose this life needs to have these little (though heart-breaking) lessons to keep us all humble. What a blessing the ability to reflect is...
