Origami - it can change our minds

I cannot help but talk about this really great thing a 9th grade boy did. Because he was challenged to do a random (secret) act of kindness, he came up with this idea. He created something like 20 different pieces of origami, and wrote positive quotes on them all. THEN - he spread them around the school for people to find. Let me tell you, it is amazing. What a great idea.

One example of this happy experiment changing viewpoints is this: we got a new student right on the day that he was spreading the origami around. The new student, scared and shy, did a double-take when she saw the goat origami piece. I told her she was welcome to have it. She smiled, took it and read the positive quote. She talked about how it was so perfect because she has goats at her grandma's house. This was great; especially because this girl is in the middle of a terrible situation, being uprooted from her previous school. She has no control over what is happening in her world, and the one bit of positive was just enough to put a smile on her face.

It's the little things, folks.

What is your why?

Sometimes I am so blown away and mind-boggled by the point of view my students are coming from that I can't help but shake my head. But here's the cool thing: our students are so mold-able right now that they NEED us to help them see beyond themselves. If we get too boggled or upset about how narrow minded some students are, we might not get to the good stuff!

This week, I had a student who was adamant that it was okay to use really offensive words (cue words like the N-word and you know what I'm getting at) when talking with your friends - because, "hey, our friends know we're joking." After a long and calm discussion about this, the student went on his way. An hour later he returned and said, "hey, so I've really been thinking about our conversation... I think I get it. I have a question. If I'm talking about something and use the word 'gay' to describe it, is that a bad thing?" The student was so genuine in his question. Though I was totally confused WHY HE DID NOT KNOW THIS ALREADY, I calmly and almost excitedly invited him to answer his own question. We processed this too. It was a real and honest "AH HA" moment. 

This is exactly why I do what I do. I love the AH HA moments the most. What is your WHY?

This is a great video that puts it into perspective on why we need a WHY... :)

Mindfulness thoughts...

I often talk about the brain, introduce new mindfulness techniques and "meditate" with the students... there are many thoughts about this, and sometimes I worry it won't be taken seriously, but the students love it. Little by little, they learn to use it on their own. I like this school-wide initiative:

Check out this school!

Creativity and Imagination

What fun to be with children when the only real goal put forth is to allow them all the creativity and imagination they want in an activity. Children come from a very different perspective, and often we forget to take that seriously. This week, the questions were, "If you could come up with the craziest, wildest, goofiest imaginary friend ever, what would he/she look like?" AND "What are the many, varied and unusual ways you would use one million beach balls?" When we get beyond the typical and move into imaginative thinking, some really great things come out.

This type of thinking is definitely a part of social, emotional learning (SEL) - especially if the kids are presenting and listening to each-other present on their outlandish ideas! Why not even take this idea into academic and career planning (ACP) with having them present on their creative job ideas. Or, what about a student professional learning community (PLC) that was all about creativity, giving them ideas to run with!? Taking our major initiatives and making them into something exciting gives them a new twist. Why not?

Some of my favorite responses were:

"I'm going to eat all of my beach balls and then, look, here is a drawing of what I'd look like!"
"I'm making a flying pig and flying bunny who play with me all day!"
"I made a beach ball mountain so I can climb high - all the way to the top!"
"My imaginary friend is a ghost and let me tell you all about him...." - he went on and on!
"I'm jumping into a giant beach ball pool and look, beach balls are flying up as I jump into them!"

In the spirit of Random Acts of Kindness...

This week, my students are all starting their random acts of kindness, through the secret agents program they started. I'm excited and nervous for them! I really want it to go well.

After a semi-negative start to the school year, this was so necessary! I did not even realize how important it is to talk about positive things. Just the mere act of talking about something positive can lighten a mood, change the energy and truly transform a space. Now, what if we extend that concept to an entire school building. If more and more people are seeing and saying positives, what might happen? Yes. Challenge accepted. After all, the kids did name me, "Agent Short Stack."

P.S. - I never even realized I was almost the only short one in the group!

Secret Kindness Agents

Have you ever heard of Secret Kindness Agents? I hadn't either until an article on Teaching Tolerance one day. What a treat to learn about a twist on paying it forward! And to top that off, my leadership group students are super excited about this initiative. But, SHHH.... it's a secret! Hope you like it!

First day back!

Wow! Another year is underway and so many things have happened since the end of last year. What a summer. Time to get back in gear, and I'm so ready!

Here's the breakdown: My first day of my 8th year as a school counselor. I am 32 years old. My favorite color is green. I want to be inspirational when I grow up. In no particular order, my favorite things are: laughing, lounging with coffee, dancing in the kitchen, "ah-ha" moments, my dog and learning!

It's been a "Pay it Forward" kind of week...

Sunday, the beginning of the week, happened to be my brothers birthday. My brother, who passed away almost five years ago now (is it really that long ago!?), was a neat guy. On his birthday, we would have chatted about life, maybe analyzed the latest in the news, and then we would have laughed about something stupid he did. Typical. So, Sunday passed without that conversation for the 5th time in a row. 

Once the week got underway at work, it was a bit of a blur. The end of the school year always is that way. On Wednesday morning, a colleague walked in to tell me a story. By the way, she is the greatest human I know. No one works harder than her and is more positive. Anyway, she told me about how when she was in her 20's with one daughter, she worked 2 jobs in order to help pay bills. They had bad insurance and her young daughter was in the hospital a lot in the beginning. She would have to eat just blueberries or not pay a certain bill to get by. 

So... she waitressed. One night a guy was there who she was jabbering with and he left her $100...she told him she could not take it, no way. His response was just, "if you don't, you'll have $200 to take." So she took it, and she couldn't believe it because she really, really needed it. She said she knew that she would someday be able to pay it back. 

She stood in my office Wednesday morning, telling me this, and then telling me how much she loves me. She said that she just knew, some how, that she wanted to pay it back to me so I could pay it forward... she said it was just like heaven telling her so. She wouldn't let me not take the $100.... even though I insisted she be the one to pay it forward somewhere. 

And then... then I cried. I finally let it out. Not on his birthday, or any time after, but the moment I heard the story. These stories, and I've heard hundreds of them since Dylan died, are motivators. They are reasons to get up, reasons to smile and reasons to cry. When I hear them, I get to be that "proud sister" again... Heck, I get to be a SISTER again, and it feels so good. 

Ending my week with gratitude. Lots and lots of it. People are good. 

Make someone's day...

Sometimes a simple statement can strike you differently, even if you have read it hundreds of times already. That is what happened when this little note popped up on my screen yesterday. My thought was, "Oh, really? Okay. I can ACTUALLY do that today." So I did. Well, kind of. Though it is such a simple statement and simple act, it can be forgotten easily... I mean actually doing it can get lost in the happenings of the day. So let's just do it. Let's go out and ACTUALLY make someone's day. What will you do?

See with love...

This beautiful tidbit came across my desk this week at just the right time. I caught myself mentally griping about the way others do certain things... and then I saw this and remembered. I remembered the time back when I was a new school counselor and I promised myself that I would always go forth with the assumption that my colleagues do all that they do with the best of intentions. I firmly intend to remember this more regularly from here on out. I cannot imagine someone going into education without initial good intentions. Sometimes our emotions may cloud our judgement, but that does not mean we are being purposeful about doing the "wrong" thing.

Okay - I'm done rambling about this.

Going forth with love. Seeing with love, more intentionally.

Here's to you!

 

It was one of those mornings when I let the tone of the meeting set my mood. But why in the world should I do that? I determine my vibe for the day, and that was certainly not the kind of energy I would have wanted to give out to anyone. How about a re-do!?

Isn't it the truth that the mindset we go into something with determines the outcome exactly. I feel like I am in the middle of a field study where three separate groups of humans are all exposed to the same condition - and each comes out of it completely different, all because of their mindset! Crazy! Amazing! Wow! - Well, not really. It just makes sense.

Here's to the ability to choose our own outcomes. Here's to the ability to choose our own mindsets. Here's to the ability to determine our future, no matter what surrounds us. And here's to Friday! :)

Enjoying the moments...

As I watched the sunrise this morning on the drive to work, I thought about the funniest moment of the day yesterday. While working on mindfulness and doing a sight exercise with second graders, we were noticing details in things. When noticing details about me, on student said, "your teeth are all white." And just then, another student excitedly stated, "It's because of the crest, duh!" I had a bit of a chuckle since his blurry speech made the sentence even more humorous. I love when we can find humor in our days. Often, we overlook it because of the chaos surrounding us, but I resolve to find it again today, too.

Attitude of Gratitude...

"An attitude of gratitude makes everything better!" Straight from the mouth of one of my second grade students this week when doing a lesson on mindful smelling. Interesting, huh? We were talking about the smell of flowers and how that smell makes us feel. She blurted out, without raising her hand, that the smell makes her feel grateful...and then she proceeded to tell us about the attitude of gratitude. Love it! This was the best "blurt" all week. :)

It was especially timely to have this lesson and this particular student reminder because that very morning started off with a bang. Angry parent phone message, of course. That put me in a bit of a funk, so this reminder could not have come at a better time. Isn't it funny how life does that? It throws things our way right when we need them. I thought it also fitting that the above image was in my inbox that day too!

Now, let's get down and dirty about gratitude. Why do we forget to be grateful so easily? There are plenty of good-natured, kind-hearted and wonderful humans out there who OFTEN forget their gratitude pants! I am going to do my very best to be grateful more today than I was yesterday. And then, the next day even more. What if we all chose to do that? Oh, I can see a school climate movement in my imagination future!

Today I am grateful that our district plans a spring break. Next week I will be grateful to sleep past 4am each day! What are you grateful for?

The spirit of a child...

My little buddy and I shared a special treat today at the cafe in town. Since he met his attendance goal, he chose to have lunch at the cafe as a reward! A treat for me too! 

As we sat and talked, while waiting for our food, he asked several similar types of questions. It went something like this: "Would you rather be a stop sign or a store?" "Would you like to be a horse or another wild animal?" "Are you a car or a train?" And then this was followed by other simple statements like this: "Wanna play tic tac toe?" "My favorite food is shrimp." "I'm gonna have cake!" "I bet those people on the sidewalk are coming in here!" And then something like this: "My belly hurts. I think I slept too much." "I'm gonna eat everything." Followed by, "my family is gonna love the leftovers!" :)

As he sat and chattered away, I could not help but reflect on the simplicity of it all. What a treat to be reminded that it truly is the little things in this life that make our world. If we can see the beauty in the little things around us or even in simple questions, then we have really lived. I think we should all take a little kid to lunch once in a while to be reminded of this very fact. 

Here's to that next lunch date! 

When you're feeling too busy to reflect...

If you had to write an advertisement... TODAY!

I have this elementary lesson that walks the students through writing their own advertisement for a good friend. They have to post an "ad" that clearly defines what a good friend is and what they would look for in such a person. Sometimes the kids do not really understand what I am asking for. Sometimes they use terms like "athletic" and "cool" as what they are looking for... and then we dig deeper. Loyalty. Honesty. Open-minded. Positive. Joyful. Hard-working. These are some of the words that surface through our discussion.

Today, I was asked to give some ideas on what I would include in an advertisement for my school. If I were attempting to show all that my school has to offer, in a nutshell, what would that include? Wow. Trying to capture the culture, the history, the energy and the feel of this environment is certainly a task! It made me step back and focus only on the positives. As school counselors, we often work in the trenches trying to improve upon some of the negatives, which drives some of our focus inevitably onto the negative. I loved this inadvertent shift in attention. I consider myself a positive person, but I definitely needed this!

Today, a group of teachers got together to provide lunch for us! Today, we had a positive meeting all about how to make the culture more positive! Today, I made time for lunch with colleagues! Today, my Kindergartners were attentive and engaged! Today, my therapy dog was extra cuddly with a sad student! Today, my coffee tastes extra good! Today, today is a good day!

Wheew. All in just today! Now, let's get to writing that advertisement...

Misunderstanding, with a twist...

Instead of explaining anything, sometimes it is just better to listen. Maybe, most of the time. I am afraid that, all too often, we do not actually listen to others. Most of us listen by thinking about what to say next... but when it comes down to it, we need to retreat to the basics. Listening deeply, intently and with the open-mindedness to hear all things, even those we do not want to hear.

Miscommunication is common. So common, in fact, that we are willing to settle for it on a daily basis. Why do we do this to ourselves? Often, I find myself asking why a student or colleague hasn't talked about their issue with those involved. Often, the answer has to do with fear. We have become humans who don't communicate effectively because we fear confrontations. Hmm... 

I guess I need to go back and re-read the book, Courageous Conversations. Or look back at this website: https://courageousconversation.com/ 

Time to do some learning. Cheers to Friday!

This day... today is the day.

Though I didn't think about it completely, I guess I should not have been surprised when I ran into some very stressed, confused and emotional teachers and students today. At first, I wondered what was going on, and then one person came to apologize. She, so graciously and emotionally explained that today was difficult on a number of levels, "and then there's the whole inauguration thing going on too. It's really hard for me." This person went on to explain a few situations in her life where she had been sexually harassed by males, and then she reflected on how she would be feeling today if (on top of being female) she was Latina or African American or disabled, etc.

What a chilling reminder that there are many people feeling many different feelings today. Whether you're happy or upset about the events happening in our country right now, I think it is important to remember that we are all in this together. I say it all the time but, "we are all on the same team!" So maybe some of us won't be watching the inauguration proceedings today, but we can do other positive things to move forward. And maybe we will be watching, which will hopefully lead to much contemplation about what good we can do for others. Uniting and standing together for the common good of all... now that sounds like something I can get behind.

Something to ponder for those not watching today...

Excitement. And love.

Speaking of excitement! Winnie (my therapy dog) came back today after a long break to have her NINE puppies. Talk about excitement.... the kids and Winnie were beyond themselves. Notice the blurry tail in the picture below. She has not stopped wagging her tail all day! When we got out of the car, she sprinted to the front door of the school. When we got in the building, she sprinted to my office, saying hello to anyone she found. Then, because it was too early for people to be in the halls, she sat at the door howling until someone showed their face. Her excitement certainly rubbed off on me! What a good way to end the week.

Now, what if we all got this excited about coming to work? What would the day look like? Really. Take a minute to think about the hilarity of it all! Makes me laugh out loud. Yet, when you really step back to think about it, it would probably transform a lot of days and even the culture within the building. I love the quote above about kids loving excitement, but staying where there is love. Here's to starting the day off with excitement and following it up with a whole lot of LOVE.